Re: Re: Re: "Gee, your instrument sounds nice"


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Posted by Rick Denney on February 09, 2001 at 16:00:51:

In Reply to: Re: Re: "Gee, your instrument sounds nice" posted by anon on February 09, 2001 at 09:37:55:

My story is a bit apocryphal, actually, and I mixed a few facts together to make a point. One is that he already knew how much I admired his playing.

But the main point is that we achieve a balance here. If we genuinely admire another player's sound, then we will compliment the player. But if we know him well, and are telling him our impressions of a particular horn, then we are commenting on the horn. I could never have made the statement I made without knowing his sound on the other horn well, and without him knowing me well enough to be interested in my opinion. We earn that position with each other.

But your point is a good one, too, and partly I was playing devil's advocate to promote the thread. When I first communicated with the player in my story (back to reality here), I told him the simple truth: I wanted lessons from him because of his sound. Any comment about the sweetness of his new horn would have been built on a foundation of known mutual respect. Your point is that mutual respect comes from giving credit where it is due--the player makes the music, not the horn, and, of course, you are absolutely correct.

When I met another pro player who is now a close friend, my first comment on his sound was that he "had it." He knew what I meant by "it", and it laid the foundation for a life-long friendship. But I would not have offered the compliment had it not been deserved.

But what do you say to a player whose sound you don't like, especially when their sound is still better than yours? A compliment on the horn might be a way to be honest without being a jerk. I find myself in this situation frequently.

Rick "who prefers geniunely nice people to those who merely have good etiquette" Denney




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