Re: My Experience this morning


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Posted by Anon on February 22, 2002 at 12:53:55:

In Reply to: My Experience this morning posted by Arnold on February 22, 2002 at 12:42:47:

A powerful story that, sdaly, we've all experienced at times. Perhaps that's why there are so many conductor jokes!! Such as:
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A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
The conductor. Business before pleasure.
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Why are conductor's hearts so coveted for transplants?
They've had so little use.
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What's the difference between a conductor and a sack of fertilizer?
The sack.
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What do you have when a group of conductors are up to their necks in wet concrete?
Not enough concrete.
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Did you hear about the planeload of conductors en route to the European Festival?
The good news: it crashed.
The bad news: there were three empty seats on board.
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What's the difference between a pig and a symphony orchestra conductor?
There are some things a pig just isn't willing to do.
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What is the ideal weight for a conductor?
About 2 1/2 lbs. including the urn.
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What's the difference between God and a conductor?
God knows He's not a conductor.
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What's the definition of an assistant conductor?
A mouse trying to become a rat.
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What do do with a horn player that can't play?
Give him two sticks, put him in the back, and call him a percussionist.
What do you do if he can't do that?
Take away one of the sticks, put him up front, and call him a conductor.
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A musician calls the symphony office to talk to the conductor. "I'm sorry,he's dead," comes the reply.

The musician calls back 25 times, always getting the same reply from the receptionist. At last she asks him why he keeps calling. "I just like to hear you say it."





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