Posted by Dean on June 12, 2002 at 20:18:09:
In Reply to: Ever feel like you can't make it? posted by JB on June 12, 2002 at 15:50:21:
I FEEL LIKE THIS CONSTANTLY
Well, not constantly, but I do go into times of "musical depression" now and then. Usually when I have failed at something, or failed at one thing repeatedly. I had several failures in my undergrad, several years in a row--a young artist competition, Busch Gardens, River City Brass Band sub-list--failed them all. But, I just kept logging hours in the practice room, plugging away, and all of a sudden, things started working for me... I dont even know how. I think it feels like that for everyone.
ANd somehow I got a gig, that confused me even more. I will tell you one thing, though... My failing auditions became a success once I started NOT CARING abour winning. I mean, I wanted to win, of course, but I won the gig when I really didnt mind losing. That audition day was just something to do--a nice experience, and I feel that I really played like ME that day, instead of my nervous auditioning self.
Also, note this: ANYONE who gives you unkind comments about your playing is merely INSECURE about their own musicianship. I realized this a while ago. CONSTRUCTIVE, HONEST comments are what musicians need to grow, not insults. Brian Bowman NEVER gave me an unkind comment in the 6 years I studied with him. He told me when I "sucked," told me what could be better, and helped me improve. Never was he insulting or condescending. We are learning a skill, and our level or progress in this skill has no reflection on our qualities as a person, so try not to take unkind words personally--just know that the person saying them has some severe personal insecurities...
Keep on working man, it will happen, and you will have no idea how or why.
Dean