Posted by In the same boat on May 23, 2001 at 06:33:37:
In Reply to: Raising a family while being a musician posted by Tubanator on May 22, 2001 at 20:07:49:
This one's too close to home for me not to respond. Any career path you choose will bring conflicts that may take you away your time the family - inherently leading to strains on your relationship.
Our situation: My wife and I have a 1 year old daughter. I took a 1 year leave of absence (that's unpaid) to take care of her. My wife is in "training" to be a cardiologist - she works 14 hour days and makes less than minimum wage. I do not plray professionally, but in a local community orchestra, and am also a choir director. Those committments take me out of the house at least 2 nights per week, sometimes 3.
Needless to say, arranging for babysitters and actually spending some time with my wife is difficult.
So what's the key? Communication & understanding. It is important that we understand each other's personal agenda, and the degree of importance of what we do. For example, my wife hates her hours, but has no choice. I love playing in the symphony, and my wife, as a non-musician understands how imnportant playing is to me.