Re: "Blind Date" with a tuba


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Posted by Rick Denney on September 04, 2001 at 15:30:34:

In Reply to: "Blind Date" with a tuba posted by Bugalugs on September 03, 2001 at 01:07:26:

You didn't identify all the possible blind dates:

1. Beauty with no brains. This is the one that looks great in a picture but who can't speak on complete sentence and laughs uncontrollably at jokes you weren't making.

2. A few wrinkles not before seen. Sometimes, the blind date turns out to be about 15 years older than you expected from the fuzzy picture. But they don't necessarily turn out badly, and sometimes the age just doesn't matter.

3. Beautiful souls. These are the ones who don't pass the 30-second test but who are just wonderful to be around. They make you re-assess what's important.

4. False advertising. Those that talk about being fit and trim and turn out to be considerably more bovine-like than they let on. Or they talk about their graduate degrees but turn out to be in Category 1 above. These are the ones that make you vow never to go on another blind date.

5. Wild ride. They grab you by the scruff of your neck and yell "hang on!" Sometimes you end up married, sometimes you end up in jail. You saw the ad in the personals.

6. The appearance of truth. Sometimes, it turns out that YOU ARE THE BLIND DATE. Halfway through the chilly evening you realize your sibling told a friend that they needed someone to date their fat, geeky sibling so Mom and Dad would allow the date.

7. The recommendation from the trusted friend you understands what both of you really want and who have both your well-being as their primary objective. These blind dates have the best chance of working. In fact, it's how I met my wife.

Okay, how does this relate to tubas?

1. A tuba may look fabulous and just not play well at all. So, sometimes buying sight unseen is better than buying sight seen.

2. The tuba that looked pristine in the fuzzy ebay ad pictures turns out to be about 40 years old with leaky valves and major dents on the backside. But, after playing the instrument, you may decide you don't care.

3. These tubas are ugly, plain and simple. You wouldn't want to be seen with one, until you play it. Then you become a fan of Sam Gnagey.

4. The falsely advertised tuba is the one that is perfect, pristine in every way, with tight valves, no dents, and Like New. When you get it, it's a mess. The folks who found their way into this category are the ones who posted below that they would never buy sight unseen AGAIN. (The "again" is the operative word here. The burned hand teaches best, and these folks still sting.)

5. The tuba that makes the commanding sound that everyone turns their head to hear, bringing you numerous compliments on the majesty and power of your sound. But, sometimes, you find that in return for all that royalty, you get unsolvable intonation problems, lurking red rot, and parts that cannot be replaced. They are great horns if you can manage their wildness, but they may also lure you into a purchase that will get you in trouble if you can't manage their eccentricities.

6. Sometimes, you are not qualified to select your own tuba. While none of us are at all surprised that Jay Bertolet insists on play-testing his horns before purchase, his approach would have been a waste of time for me 17 years ago when I was wanting a new tuba but thought I could not afford the type I really wanted. At that time, I needed the advice of a trusted pro to keep me from doing something stupid (like, say, buying a top-action Miraphone). I got that advice, and the results have turned out well.

7. Unless you are a skilled player with a specific idea of what you want, you may get better advice from a trustworthy go-between than you'd give yourself. That's why we ask young players to consult their teachers. Were I a beginner, I'd rather call up MattDaveMikeCharlieTony and trust their opinion than make a selection on my own.

So, buying a tuba without personal contact from an untrusted source is risky, and you assume all the risk. Caveat emptor. But buying from a trusted source is probably as good for most novices as play-testing, and possibly better. Therefore: Ebay=huge risk. Good Tuba Retailer=little or no risk. "Good" being the operative term.

Rick "careful to avoid any gender bias in the above charaterizations" Denney


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