Posted by Rick Denney on September 20, 2001 at 12:31:22:
In Reply to: I need advise. posted by Rather not say on September 20, 2001 at 10:28:02:
I feel for you. But one of the lessons of life is that effort doesn't count--results do. This is a hard lesson, believe me. Some people who are naturals (at whatever they do) seem to be able to skate while others have to work "their butts off" merely to be acceptable. When I was in college, and complained that my professors were busting my chops because I wasn't producing a product they wanted, wiser upper-classmen would smile and say "welcome to college." I made A's in those classes. I learned that good professors bust the chops of their best students, because the better you are, the higher the standard they apply to you.
But your post raises another issue, and that is how you handle nerves before a critical audience.
When you figure it out, let me know.
The TubaMeisters once played a recital at Southwest Texas State University, and as we walked out onto the stage, it occurred to me that this was the same stage from which I had listened to many recitals. I remembered how critical I had been as a listener, and that turnabout caused a full-scale panic attack. What the heck was I doing on that stage?
The TubaMeisters had played nearly 800 shows professionally during the previous year, and we were as confident of our standard rep as any group could be. But we were attempting some long-hair music--a few transcriptions of challenging, serious literature. The first work on the program was a tuba quartet arrangement of the Fanfare from La Peri, followed by an arrangement of Till Eulenspiegal. I could not breathe deeply until the middle of that second work. At the beginning, the famous horn solo was in--yes--my third part on F tuba. My sound was not even up to my usual mediocre standard, and there was considerable uncontrollable vibrato as the adrenalin surged. Yet, we got through it, and by the end of the recital (when we played our usual polka set), I was completely calmed down.
I have found that as I grow older, it gets worse. Recently, our community band played a difficult arrangement of An American in Paris. There was a bunch of hard stuff on that program, and I played it all better than I ever had, except for--you guessed it--that easy little solo in the Gershwin.
Lack of awareness wasn't the problem. I could feel my chest tighten up, I could feel my shoulders tense, and I could feel those effects crowding out the mental clarity I needed to be musical and accurate. In fact, I think awareness was the problem.
Pat Sheridan, in his TUSABTEC clinic, talked about his lessons with such as Arnold Jacobs. There is probably not much he could learn from anyone on the technical aspects of playing, though he didn't say that. What he did say that in those lessons he worked on how to relax the body while keeping the mind focused and alert. He said that you can't relax on purpose--you have to relax by moving your mind to more important matters, thus moving it away from the matters that cause stress.
I hear him, but I haven't quite figured out how to do it yet.
Rick "who used to work best under pressure" Denney