Posted by Rick Denney on September 04, 2003 at 10:11:37:
In Reply to: Re: Re: Moral predicament posted by There's... on September 01, 2003 at 20:26:38:
That said, I would add a couple of caveats:
1. If you are part-way through the rehearsal cycle for a concert, and if your departure would be detrimental to the performance, try to stay with them at least through the concert. But tell them now that you won't be there after the upcoming concert, so that they can be looking for someone else. If they ask you not to continue, then you are off the hook even for the upcoming concert. For most free groups, commitment is a prized quality, and the reason it is is because of the turmoil caused by people who rehearse but then can't perform, which leaves holes when it counts most. I don't think you are obligated to find a replacement, unless you committed to a performance and can't do it.
2. If you do leave, be clear and tell them you are leaving. In my opinion, you don't have to explain why you are leaving, but if they ask, just say it isn't working out for you to participate. Don't burn bridges; even at the amateur level, music is a network. What I don't like to see is someone who says they are in the group but they gradually stop showing up, until finally their actions speak louder than their words and the group gives up on them. In the meantime, the group doesn't know if they need to fill the position or not.
I've been on both sides of this issue several times, and have learned from my own mistakes.
Rick "remembering that your personal word is all you have in a volunteer group" Denney