Posted by another EE ex-pro musician on December 03, 2001 at 16:07:41:
In Reply to: Re: Negative thoughts - help! posted by realistic thoughts? on December 01, 2001 at 20:44:46:
You're almost the age I was when I went back to school. Music wasn't fun anymore. I was tired of dire poverty. The hardest part was giving up on "the dream." It's like abandoning a lover that you made a commitment to. There is a period of real mourning involved.
I still have the same performance anxiety on my original instrument that got worse and worse as I got older....somehow it went from fun to competition. On the new instrument that I took up when I was 45, I have incredible fun in amateur groups.
It's a tough decision. Use your intellect to choose your next path, and best of luck. While you're still in school, use some of that tuition money to try various fields; you might find a whole new dream to fall in love with. There's a whole lot out there.
Mary Ann