Posted by Jay Bertolet on September 20, 2001 at 16:47:40:
In Reply to: I need advise. posted by Rather not say on September 20, 2001 at 10:28:02:
All the suggestions you've received so far include very good advice, advice I might give you myself. I'm going to play a little Devil's advocate here. You say that you've been working your butt off. Can I assume that is an unusual behavior for you? Not to say that you've been a slacker but, are you now working harder than you've ever worked before? As a result, are you sounding MUCH better than you've ever sounded? Is it possible that until now, your playing was such that your teacher never took your chance at being a good player seriously?
I sincerely hope you're not offended by my questions! It is not my intent to discourage you. You should understand that some teachers can encourage you only so much. After that point, the motivation must come from you. If you're in a situation where your teacher reached that point a while ago, he maybe figured that you were never really serious. When you started sounding much better, he realized that you really could be a much more serious player and started to apply tougher standards to you as a result. I run into this phenomenon all the time with students. They'll be playing at what I loosely term a "high school" level but as they improve, suddenly things they've always done aren't acceptable and then they're playing at a "college" level and they now have many other things to work on. This is completely natural as the ear becomes more and more sophisticated in evaluating your playing. Think about it. Remember when you played a solo for contest in high school and you really nailed the piece? You got a superior rating and went home all proud. How would you feel if that same performance was taped and then played as your audition for the San Francisco Symphony opening next year? If that happened to me, I'd be embarrassed! You need to understand that as you improve, it doesn't mean you don't have to work on as many things. In my experience, it is exactly the opposite. The better I get, the worse I feel I play. I think this is all about perception and what standard you apply to your playing.
Another thing to consider is this: If your teacher heard you suddenly playing at a higher level than ever before, perhaps he sees in you the potential to be a great player. No matter how great a player you are, you still have to deliver under pressure. Perhaps he is simply testing you to see how you'll react to the pressure and constant criticism. This is a valuable lesson for the would-be performer. When you sit in the chair, you must leave your ego at the door because the guy on the podium can tell you to do just about anything and you'll have to comply. Being able to effectively respond to criticism is crucial to being an ensemble player and keeping your job.
Best of luck to you!
My opinion for what it's worth...